I spent last Sunday at my Aunt's beside at her home while she took her last breath. My Aunt was more like my Mother than my Aunt. She help raise me, and she never had a child of her own so I was her baby as she called me. She was 66 years old. I have been in such a mess state every since, and with this SS and all my other health problems I am trying to pull myself out but I just can't seem to. I can feel body responding to my grief and stress. I know its just making myself worse. Picking the spray for her coffin, buying the dress for her to wear. I am just not strong enough I guess and I am scared its going to do me in. How do I get my Mind to focus on something else besides her...All I want to do is crawl under the blankets and stay there, I don't feel as though I am strong enough to move past this ..Tomorrow is her funeral maybe after that I can eat, or smile, or just breath.
Really sorry for you, Beeb- especially as you were so close. You say that you're not strong enough but you sound really strong to me; to be there at her bedside, and to make those funeral arrangements takes strength, to get yourself up each day and keep going... Don't be too hard on yourself, it is very early days yet. Try to focus on the happy memories of your aunt, and your time together, how proud she must have been of you, and get through tomorrow. Time will heal your grief, and you can come to us for support.
Your aunt was a very lucky woman to have someone as strong and as loving as you are. And you are fortunate to have had such a wonderful relationship with her. My thoughts are with you, Beeb, and I'm wishing strength for you tomorrow. Now is the time for tears, but the sun will shine again. You know your aunt would have wanted it that way.
Hugs coming your way
I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you strength in the upcoming days.
Beeb, I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you today and over the coming days. Just be kind to yourself, take one day at a time or even just one minute at a time. You will get through and there will come a time when you will dry those tears and your memories will all be happy fond ones without the sadness you feel now.
Beeb I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking the exact same thing as Jules as I read your post. You sound exceptionally strong to me. And please remember that it also takes strength to reach out and ask for support. I'm so glad that you did. You and your aunt seem to have very blessed to have each other. Grief is a funny thing that ebbs and flows. Please give yourself lots of time and space to grieve as you need. Sending prayers for peace and gentle hugs.
Sorry for your loss Beeb... but guess what? You are focusing your mind on something else right now- you. Now, I didn't know your aunt, but I'm guessing she'd want you to be thinking of all those happy times you had together and how many happy times she wants you to have in your future... so please- smile and give yourself a hug from her and another one from me. Take a small break from the world if you can- read a book, do some craft projects etc.. anything that for a day or two will just let you relax. Then- Embrace life.
Thank you so much everyone I truly needed to reach deep and pull out all that I am and all that I have been and put my pieces back together. I appreciate each and everyone of you that responded. God Bless you all
Just read your post. So sorry you are dealing with all of this. I can relate to so much of what you said. I hope you can focus on the joy you and your Aunt gave one another. Some people never get to feel the closeness you shared. Though it is so hard to lose a loved one, it is a gift that we can treasure and think of all the things you learned from her. Her voice will echo in your head when you continue in life. Her lessons will guide you and someday you will smile when you think of them, not cry. You are strong, you probably learned it from your Aunt. Her footprint is on your heart because of the impression she made on you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead.