The earlier topic about isolation kind of set me off. I guess I really still have a lot of anger and resentment about the fact that most of my so-called “friends” totally ignored and abandoned me when I first got sick.
I was diagnosed in September, 2014. I was only 36 and I’m male, so I don’t fit the typical “profile” at all. But Sjogren’s Syndrome hit me like a sledgehammer. Before I was diagnosed, I was suddenly having a lot of scary symptoms hit me one after another. First, I was tired all the time and I was practically bedridden. I could only leave the house for maybe 30 minutes to an hour at the most, and then I would have to come back home and lay down. Then I started getting dizzy and having headaches every day. Then my feet were freezing cold and my toenails were turning blue! I had no idea what was happening to me, and I felt like I was dying. All my friends were suddenly “busy” all the time. I just wished someone would come over or call me once in a while, even just to talk and see how I was doing…but nope, nothing. One of these friends, who I’ve known since high school, even had the nerve to tell me “Well, you know, if you’re just sitting at home all day doing nothing, you’re probably just depressed.”
My parents weren’t supportive at all either…but that’s a whole OTHER story. I really thought I was going to die by myself in my bed. The only reason I even got a diagnosis and got medicine was because I kept pushing for tests and going to different doctors. No one was helping me at all. In fact, the exact opposite…my parents thought I was “exaggerating.” And all the friends I had known for years suddenly disappeared.
When I became sick, it’s like everyone just had something better to do. I never got any visits, no calls, no texts, nothing. Even after I was finally diagnosed and now there was PROOF in wasn’t “all in my head,” no one cared about how I was doing. I guess now that I couldn’t do as much as I used to, I wasn’t as much fun to be around.
I’m sorry, I’m venting but I still feel so much anger about this. I have always tried to be a good friend to everyone, but then when I needed people the most they abandoned me.
Did anyone else here lose friends after they got Sjogren’s? You know, they suddenly stopped coming around to visit or stopped calling? How do you deal with resentment? The disease itself seems so unfair, but I can learn to accept it eventually…what makes it worse is the way people treat me.